Covert Narcissist vs. Narcissist

Attribute	Covert Narcissist	Narcissist
Personality Traits	Introverted, manipulative, passive-aggressive	Grandiose, attention-seeking, arrogant
Behavior	Plays the victim, seeks pity, covertly seeks admiration	Boastful, seeks attention, lacks empathy
Relationships	Form superficial connections, emotionally distant	Uses others for personal gain, lacks genuine connections
Manipulation	Uses subtle tactics, gaslighting, emotional manipulation	Direct manipulation, lies, exploits others

Introduction

Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a need for excessive admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. While most people are familiar with the classic overt narcissist who displays their narcissistic traits openly, there is another type of narcissist known as the covert narcissist. In this article, we will compare the attributes of a covert narcissist and a narcissist to better understand the differences between the two.

Personality Traits

Both covert narcissists and narcissists share similar personality traits such as a sense of entitlement, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. However, the way these traits are expressed differs between the two. A covert narcissist tends to be more introverted and may appear shy or insecure on the surface, while a narcissist is more likely to be outgoing and charismatic. Covert narcissists are skilled at manipulating others through passive-aggressive behavior, while narcissists are more overt in their manipulation tactics.

Behavior Patterns

Covert narcissists often engage in subtle forms of manipulation such as gaslighting, playing the victim, and using guilt trips to control others. They may also engage in covert aggression, such as spreading rumors or gossiping behind someone's back. On the other hand, narcissists are more likely to engage in overt forms of manipulation, such as belittling others, bragging about their accomplishments, and seeking constant validation from others.

Relationship Dynamics

Both covert narcissists and narcissists struggle with forming healthy relationships due to their self-centered nature. Covert narcissists may appear caring and empathetic at first, but their true motives are often revealed over time as they seek to control and manipulate their partners. Narcissists, on the other hand, are more upfront about their need for admiration and may quickly become emotionally abusive in relationships.

Self-Image

Covert narcissists often struggle with low self-esteem and may use their manipulative tactics to boost their fragile ego. They may present themselves as victims or martyrs to gain sympathy and attention from others. Narcissists, on the other hand, have a grandiose sense of self-importance and believe they are superior to others. They may go to great lengths to maintain their image of perfection and may become enraged when their facade is threatened.

Emotional Regulation

Covert narcissists tend to have difficulty regulating their emotions and may experience intense feelings of shame, guilt, or inadequacy. They may use manipulation as a way to cope with these negative emotions. Narcissists, on the other hand, have a limited emotional range and may struggle to empathize with others. They may become angry or hostile when their needs are not met and may resort to aggressive behavior to assert their dominance.

Conclusion

While both covert narcissists and narcissists share similar personality traits, their behavior patterns and relationship dynamics differ significantly. Covert narcissists are more subtle in their manipulation tactics and may appear insecure on the surface, while narcissists are more overt in their need for admiration and validation. Understanding the differences between these two types of narcissists can help individuals recognize and protect themselves from toxic relationships.